Back From the Edge

There were times I thought the pain and grief would literally make my heart stop.  My entire life, our entire life, was flipped upside down and sideways, and in the weeks and months since September 18, 2011, I felt like my insides were made of shattered glass, held together only with a very fine web, and it would take very little to destroy me completely.

I'm still standing.

It didn't kill me. 

I have survived. 

I am stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. 

I'm proud of me. 

I'm in counselling. 

I'm a work-in-progress. 

I am present and striving every day to be a better mother. 

I'm working hard at a job I enjoy.

I am lucky to work with an incredible female boss who is inspirational.

I started smiling again.

I started sleeping again (not always great, but better than last fall and winter).

I am worthy.

I am unique.

I am funny.

I am lovable.

I am trustworthy.

I realized something hugely life-changing...

I LOVE me.

New Job. Old Commute.

First day with the new gig and my brain is dead-tired tonight, but in a very good, all synapses firing sort of way. I miss the girls though....

The worst part of the day is the commute because the city bus strike has forced everyone to drive to work. Mother-fuckers...GET BACK TO WORK ALREADY!!

And now I'm going to try to find a recipe for bannock because my son wants to make some before bedtime tonight.

I'll write more tomorrow.

Or maybe the next day.

Actually USING my brain is hard work, so show me some love, Internet.