Can't Fight This Feeling

Sorry to disappoint, but this post isn't an ode to all you closet REO Speedwagon fans...

Some of you may be aware I started a new job a month ago and while I won't discuss exactly who I'm working for, suffice to say she's a Canadian celebrity who's locked in a minimum 8 year contract, but likely a lifetime one. Having said that, she is terrific - down to earth, direct, good sense of humour and so on. I admit I'm having an issue with the amount of very strong perfume she wears and sprays several times a day, leaving me feeling nauseous and ready to puke into the garbage can next to the desk, but confronting her....well, that's out of the question because I'm a chicken shit.

Having said this (against the concern of the man I live with who thinks writing the above is not oblique enough and will come back to bite me in the ass), I have been wondering whether to unload here with the secret I've been keeping for this past month, minus the first day.

We can all relate to the excitement of firsts: first day at a new job, at a new apartment, in a new town, in a new relationship - it brings a charge of power, the tremor of possibility, a rush of adrenaline that something has changed. This thought brings me to my confession: I HATE THIS NEW JOB. I can't stand it for the very same reason I couldn't stand my last job - IT IS THE SAME JOB. Just in a different place. If only it were as cute as Jim & Pam and awkwardly funny as Michael on "The Office", but it isn't. It never is. I've been desperately trying to convince myself that THIS! IS! A! GREAT! OPPORTUNITY! and perhaps for someone else it is....I feel like I'm riding Bill Murray's coattails in 'Groundhog Day' and this is the gateway to hell.

Someone told me that if my job is not nourishing my soul it is the wrong one for me. The last few days have been agonizing, trying to will myself out of bed, trying to force my legs to MOVE, reminding myself that while I'm not thrilled about this job, it IS a job and I'm doing my part to support my family. Nourishing my soul, I guess, will have to wait.

The less-mature side of me keeps wishing that we'll win a huge amount of money in the 6/49 so that I can quit this job and just do whatever I feel like doing, which really means being home for my kids and NOT worry about finances.

But to quote Burgess Meredith in 'Grumpy Old Men' - "You can wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which one fills up first."

Wishes....I wish for wishes....