Phase one is complete.
I had THE talk last week with my son about sex. He's going to be 12 in a few short months, and while we've discussed periodically through the years some of the changes he can expect in his young body, this is the first time we actually discussed the fact that a penis and a vagina fit together quite nicely, that sex feels fantastic, and that condoms are not just some type of weird-shaped balloon to be used during water fights. I explained to him (with the help of a diagram of the male anatomy) what semen is and its very important part in making babies.
I refused to be embarrassed about the subject matter and I truly think that because I was calm and matter-of-fact about it, that made the whole situation far less awkward for my boy than it could have been.
He had a couple of questions, and the only time his eyes got wide was upon seeing a diagram of the outside of a woman's 'nunoone'. I wanted to stress to him the importance of coming to me if he doesn't understand something, or if he hears something from his friends that maybe doesn't make sense because after all, we know that sex-talk among peers on the playground is rife with the truth.
As part of my brain was registering the fact that he is mature enough to understand and deal with this information, my heart is still aching because it understands that my little boy is no longer a baby.
Someone pass the pregnancy-approved vodka.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
How to Charm Me
Tell me very confidently that I, too, should run around after the bubbles floating in the air because "it'll make you feel like a kid again!"
My son is going to break hearts.
My son is going to break hearts.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Part 3 - Alone. In your kitchen. Magic can happen.
The finished product - one is a cinnamon vanilla lip gloss (too strong on the cinnamon scent which I normally love, but I'll chalk it up to the pregnancy hormones). The other is wild cherry.
My plan to rule the world has just begun....
Part 2 - Seriously. Enjoy the alone time in your kitchen.
Shave the beeswax, measure out the carrier oil (in this case I used grapeseed oil); measure the essential oil you've chosen, and melt it in the glass measuring cup which is sitting in a pot of hot simmering water.
Part 1 - Be Alone in the Kitchen
Unbleached natural beeswax plus grapeseed oil plus essential oils of vanilla, wild cherry and cinnamon to choose from plus droppers plus sterilized containers for the finished product equals one highly excited mummy!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Paige Hemmis: I'm Going to Kick Your Ass
I just saw an ABC interview online with Paige Hemmis, one part of the team on Extreme Home Makeover and I couldn't decide between wanting to reach through the computer screen and throttle her or laugh somewhat hysterically as she attempted to describe her bout with depression.
Most of the time, I think it's great that people are 'coming out' and acknowledging this disease which in theory helps us lesser mortals not feel as ashamed as we do; and yet it mostly seems like it's the 'disease-du-jour' and celebrities are just jumping on the bandwagon for their 15 minutes of fame.
The part that held me suspended in outrageous disbelief was when she admitted that she DIDN'T EVEN KNOW SHE WAS DEPRESSED.
As someone who's been trying to climb her way out of this soul-sucking hell-hole for years and years, I was astounded. Believe me, if you're depressed, you fucking well know it because there are days and weeks it's all you can think about.
Most of the time, I think it's great that people are 'coming out' and acknowledging this disease which in theory helps us lesser mortals not feel as ashamed as we do; and yet it mostly seems like it's the 'disease-du-jour' and celebrities are just jumping on the bandwagon for their 15 minutes of fame.
The part that held me suspended in outrageous disbelief was when she admitted that she DIDN'T EVEN KNOW SHE WAS DEPRESSED.
As someone who's been trying to climb her way out of this soul-sucking hell-hole for years and years, I was astounded. Believe me, if you're depressed, you fucking well know it because there are days and weeks it's all you can think about.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
A potential new hobby? A potential new cash flow?
Anyone who knows me knows of my affinity/obsession (Hello, my name is Shelley and I'm a lipgloss-a-holic.) with lip gloss and lip balms.
At any given time I have no less than 8 different tubes on the go and this has led me to searching out online (www.notmartha.org) ...wait for it.....MAKING MY OWN.
Astonishing isn't it? I'm giddy with excitement about getting started because it seems so easy there's no possible way I can mess this up. I'm now the proud owner of a couple of tiny bottles of essential oils and other paraphenelia and I will be sure to post pictures on how this all goes down.
Wish me luck!
At any given time I have no less than 8 different tubes on the go and this has led me to searching out online (www.notmartha.org) ...wait for it.....MAKING MY OWN.
Astonishing isn't it? I'm giddy with excitement about getting started because it seems so easy there's no possible way I can mess this up. I'm now the proud owner of a couple of tiny bottles of essential oils and other paraphenelia and I will be sure to post pictures on how this all goes down.
Wish me luck!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Swimming Lessons & Tamil Tigers
It was an odd day....
Tamil Tigers were demonstrating near our Parliament Hill yesterday afternoon - 32 countries, including Canada - consider them a terrorist group, so exactly why are they still being allowed to continue their protest today? This is a group known to have initiated the use of women in suicide attacks, known for recruiting child soldiers, known to have carried out more suicide bombings than al-Qaeda, Hislamic Jihad and Hamas combined.
It has been a relatively peaceful demonstration so far but trying to get into the government building I work in was and is disconcerting and a touch scary to be stared at so hatefully by so many masked men, simply because I'm a woman.
On to happier things, my kids had their usual Wednesday night swimming lessons and it is a joy to see my daughter jumping into the pool with a smile; holding her while she does the doggy-paddle, and listening to her laugh as she blows bubbles. My son is doing very well in his intermediate class - learning how to do the backstroke using a float-board, learning how to dive instead belly-flopping, and I see him listening intently to his instructor from where I am in the kiddy-pool.
Something about watching my kids take on these new skills, being in the water, seeing their eyes shining, allows me to let go of the constant hum and murmur of my brain and actually focus on the moment, savour it, relish it, tuck it away in my memory to open again later like a favourite, well-worn book.
It is carpe diem and namaste all rolled into one big, wet hug.
Tamil Tigers were demonstrating near our Parliament Hill yesterday afternoon - 32 countries, including Canada - consider them a terrorist group, so exactly why are they still being allowed to continue their protest today? This is a group known to have initiated the use of women in suicide attacks, known for recruiting child soldiers, known to have carried out more suicide bombings than al-Qaeda, Hislamic Jihad and Hamas combined.
It has been a relatively peaceful demonstration so far but trying to get into the government building I work in was and is disconcerting and a touch scary to be stared at so hatefully by so many masked men, simply because I'm a woman.
On to happier things, my kids had their usual Wednesday night swimming lessons and it is a joy to see my daughter jumping into the pool with a smile; holding her while she does the doggy-paddle, and listening to her laugh as she blows bubbles. My son is doing very well in his intermediate class - learning how to do the backstroke using a float-board, learning how to dive instead belly-flopping, and I see him listening intently to his instructor from where I am in the kiddy-pool.
Something about watching my kids take on these new skills, being in the water, seeing their eyes shining, allows me to let go of the constant hum and murmur of my brain and actually focus on the moment, savour it, relish it, tuck it away in my memory to open again later like a favourite, well-worn book.
It is carpe diem and namaste all rolled into one big, wet hug.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
About the Wedding
A few people have asked, "So, what's happening with the wedding?"
Given that we were thinking of getting married this September, and given that the baby's due date is this September, and given that I'd prefer not to looked like Bubba Blimp walking down the aisle, we've decided to postpone the wedding. Which really isn't that big a deal because we've waited this long - what's a while longer?
We used to joke around saying that we'd do it before Danielle could walk. Then it was before she started school (also happening in September!) and now I'm sort of thinking that maybe we'll get hitched a week before our 75th and 77th birthdays.
We're long-term planners don't'cha know...
Given that we were thinking of getting married this September, and given that the baby's due date is this September, and given that I'd prefer not to looked like Bubba Blimp walking down the aisle, we've decided to postpone the wedding. Which really isn't that big a deal because we've waited this long - what's a while longer?
We used to joke around saying that we'd do it before Danielle could walk. Then it was before she started school (also happening in September!) and now I'm sort of thinking that maybe we'll get hitched a week before our 75th and 77th birthdays.
We're long-term planners don't'cha know...
Monday, April 6, 2009
That Whole Pregnancy Thing
I did promise to write more about how shocked we were to find out that having sex without any form of birth control can result in what has, up to this particular moment, been one of the biggest surprises of our lives.
I have always been that person who rolls their eyes to the ceiling when you hear someone talking about an accidental pregnancy, because in this day and age, come on, how can that possibly happen? I'm about to explain....
I'd been going through early menopause stuff for the last year and a bit, so my cycle has been irregular and missing some months, other months I'd be oh-so-lucky to get two periods! TWO! TWO PERIODS IN ONE MONTH! (As an aside, I've yet to come across an Always commercial extolling the happiness of that particular occurance and how it can enrich my life.) Did I mention the hot flashes? Oy vay, the night sweats...the hot flashes....time to spritz myself again and again.
Thinking there was nothing to be concerned about, hubby and I continued to have regular relations without giving spermicide, the Pill, condoms, Depo-Provera, cervical caps, IUDs a first thought, let alone a second one. Let this be a cautionary tale to anyone out there...yes, sex feels good, great actually, but use YOUR BRAINS for one tiny second to think about CONSEQUENCES. (Little bits of wisdom in parenting come from life experiences, you see?)
And ladies and gents, lo and behold, guess what happened? I got pregnant.
I knew something was up because my breasts had been sore for over 2 weeks and yet I continued to think that this too was just another joyful turn down the menopause highway. But a niggling thought led to buying a pregnancy test and at the Starbucks I haunt, I used the facility before ordering my usual (grande, non-fat, extra-hot, light-foam latte for those of you keeping track). The second blue line appeared even before my pee made it all the way through that little window. My immediate reaction was a frisson of excitement, followed very quickly by all-over body shaking and the thought of "Shit. shit. shi-i-i-t..."
Over the next few days, we both freaked out, and I am not ashamed or embarrassed to say that we considered terminating the pregnancy. Yes, abortion. I don't understand why it needs to be kept a great big secret because I'm certain that we are not the first couple who've considered that option, and yet no one ever talks about it. I believe wholeheartedly in a woman's right to choose, no matter the circumstances that landed her in that decision-making hell. And it was just that for us, especially because hubby's feelings and concerns had to be taken into consideration.
In the end, I decided I couldn't go through with it and am at peace with that decision. I think hubby will come around but right now he's still freaking out with worry (and just to be clear, he wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea of getting rid of it either). But if I'm going to be honest, which I always aim for when writing this blog, his negative-freaking is pissing me off. Having another child affects me too, but I'm trying to make the best of it, and I am choosing to be happy about this, choosing to now see this as a blessing.
No matter what the end result is in terms of how our relationship gets through this, or doesn't - because truthfully? Nothing is guaranteed, is it?, everything happens for a reason.
I have always been that person who rolls their eyes to the ceiling when you hear someone talking about an accidental pregnancy, because in this day and age, come on, how can that possibly happen? I'm about to explain....
I'd been going through early menopause stuff for the last year and a bit, so my cycle has been irregular and missing some months, other months I'd be oh-so-lucky to get two periods! TWO! TWO PERIODS IN ONE MONTH! (As an aside, I've yet to come across an Always commercial extolling the happiness of that particular occurance and how it can enrich my life.) Did I mention the hot flashes? Oy vay, the night sweats...the hot flashes....time to spritz myself again and again.
Thinking there was nothing to be concerned about, hubby and I continued to have regular relations without giving spermicide, the Pill, condoms, Depo-Provera, cervical caps, IUDs a first thought, let alone a second one. Let this be a cautionary tale to anyone out there...yes, sex feels good, great actually, but use YOUR BRAINS for one tiny second to think about CONSEQUENCES. (Little bits of wisdom in parenting come from life experiences, you see?)
And ladies and gents, lo and behold, guess what happened? I got pregnant.
I knew something was up because my breasts had been sore for over 2 weeks and yet I continued to think that this too was just another joyful turn down the menopause highway. But a niggling thought led to buying a pregnancy test and at the Starbucks I haunt, I used the facility before ordering my usual (grande, non-fat, extra-hot, light-foam latte for those of you keeping track). The second blue line appeared even before my pee made it all the way through that little window. My immediate reaction was a frisson of excitement, followed very quickly by all-over body shaking and the thought of "Shit. shit. shi-i-i-t..."
Over the next few days, we both freaked out, and I am not ashamed or embarrassed to say that we considered terminating the pregnancy. Yes, abortion. I don't understand why it needs to be kept a great big secret because I'm certain that we are not the first couple who've considered that option, and yet no one ever talks about it. I believe wholeheartedly in a woman's right to choose, no matter the circumstances that landed her in that decision-making hell. And it was just that for us, especially because hubby's feelings and concerns had to be taken into consideration.
In the end, I decided I couldn't go through with it and am at peace with that decision. I think hubby will come around but right now he's still freaking out with worry (and just to be clear, he wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea of getting rid of it either). But if I'm going to be honest, which I always aim for when writing this blog, his negative-freaking is pissing me off. Having another child affects me too, but I'm trying to make the best of it, and I am choosing to be happy about this, choosing to now see this as a blessing.
No matter what the end result is in terms of how our relationship gets through this, or doesn't - because truthfully? Nothing is guaranteed, is it?, everything happens for a reason.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Friday Sucked
Friday was unquestionably a day spent wondering why the hell I'm working for someone who thinks it's well within her rights to be practically screaming at me over the phone line because she's pissed that she has to pay a bill SHE AGREED TO PAY and that somehow it's become my responsibility to convey her extreme anger and disappointment and "don't-fuck-with-me" attitude to the sales manager instead of dealing with it herself.
Oh and just so we're clear? It isn't my fucking problem the flight you want to take this afternoon doesn't exist. Feel free to slam the phone shut in my ear because that will make the pretty little airplane fly just because you want it to. I know you're having a tough day because you've made mine absolutely miserable from the get-go this morning.
I am desperately trying to find my happy place, but all I can hear is Dolly Parton singing,
"Working nine-to-five, they've got you where they want you
There's a better life, and you dream about it, don't you?
It's a rich man's game, no matter what they call it,
And you spend your life puttin' money in his pocket!"
Someone suggested this weekend, "Hey, sounds like you're working for Miranda Priestley, y'know that boss in the "Devil Wears Prada"!
Yes it sort of does sound like that.
Oh and just so we're clear? It isn't my fucking problem the flight you want to take this afternoon doesn't exist. Feel free to slam the phone shut in my ear because that will make the pretty little airplane fly just because you want it to. I know you're having a tough day because you've made mine absolutely miserable from the get-go this morning.
I am desperately trying to find my happy place, but all I can hear is Dolly Parton singing,
"Working nine-to-five, they've got you where they want you
There's a better life, and you dream about it, don't you?
It's a rich man's game, no matter what they call it,
And you spend your life puttin' money in his pocket!"
Someone suggested this weekend, "Hey, sounds like you're working for Miranda Priestley, y'know that boss in the "Devil Wears Prada"!
Yes it sort of does sound like that.
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