That Whole Pregnancy Thing

I did promise to write more about how shocked we were to find out that having sex without any form of birth control can result in what has, up to this particular moment, been one of the biggest surprises of our lives.

I have always been that person who rolls their eyes to the ceiling when you hear someone talking about an accidental pregnancy, because in this day and age, come on, how can that possibly happen? I'm about to explain....

I'd been going through early menopause stuff for the last year and a bit, so my cycle has been irregular and missing some months, other months I'd be oh-so-lucky to get two periods! TWO! TWO PERIODS IN ONE MONTH! (As an aside, I've yet to come across an Always commercial extolling the happiness of that particular occurance and how it can enrich my life.) Did I mention the hot flashes? Oy vay, the night sweats...the hot flashes....time to spritz myself again and again.

Thinking there was nothing to be concerned about, hubby and I continued to have regular relations without giving spermicide, the Pill, condoms, Depo-Provera, cervical caps, IUDs a first thought, let alone a second one. Let this be a cautionary tale to anyone out there...yes, sex feels good, great actually, but use YOUR BRAINS for one tiny second to think about CONSEQUENCES. (Little bits of wisdom in parenting come from life experiences, you see?)

And ladies and gents, lo and behold, guess what happened? I got pregnant.

I knew something was up because my breasts had been sore for over 2 weeks and yet I continued to think that this too was just another joyful turn down the menopause highway. But a niggling thought led to buying a pregnancy test and at the Starbucks I haunt, I used the facility before ordering my usual (grande, non-fat, extra-hot, light-foam latte for those of you keeping track). The second blue line appeared even before my pee made it all the way through that little window. My immediate reaction was a frisson of excitement, followed very quickly by all-over body shaking and the thought of "Shit. shit. shi-i-i-t..."

Over the next few days, we both freaked out, and I am not ashamed or embarrassed to say that we considered terminating the pregnancy. Yes, abortion. I don't understand why it needs to be kept a great big secret because I'm certain that we are not the first couple who've considered that option, and yet no one ever talks about it. I believe wholeheartedly in a woman's right to choose, no matter the circumstances that landed her in that decision-making hell. And it was just that for us, especially because hubby's feelings and concerns had to be taken into consideration.

In the end, I decided I couldn't go through with it and am at peace with that decision. I think hubby will come around but right now he's still freaking out with worry (and just to be clear, he wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea of getting rid of it either). But if I'm going to be honest, which I always aim for when writing this blog, his negative-freaking is pissing me off. Having another child affects me too, but I'm trying to make the best of it, and I am choosing to be happy about this, choosing to now see this as a blessing.

No matter what the end result is in terms of how our relationship gets through this, or doesn't - because truthfully? Nothing is guaranteed, is it?, everything happens for a reason.