I've been debating in my head for some time on whether I have the courage to write it down here, in this unknown but public space, my struggle with food. Struggle may be too light a description. It's more or less an obsession - and not the good kind.
I think about food ALL THE TIME. It is a mostly hate relationship. As in, it's behind every single thought I have throughout the day, it's the first thing that pops into my head when I wake up and it's the last thing I think about when trying to go to sleep. As in, I can't believe I ate that, why didn't I push myself harder during my workout, why didn't you work out yesterday too, why didn't I eat an apple instead of 6 cookies...why? Why? Why? I understand on an intellectual level that eating good, healthy food puts proper fuel in my body so that I have energy for everything.
The problem is that I am addicted to sugar and cannot seem to shake it. I cannot get through a single day without it. I start off with all good intentions in the morning by eating a good healthy breakfast (usually old-fashioned oatmeal with a few walnuts, blueberries and cinnamon thrown in), and of course a cup or two of coffee with 1/2 and 1/2 and tiny bit of SUGAR mixed in. And by tiny bit, I do mean so little that really I could do without it at all, which I'm working towards. Then, mid-morning that little white devil in my ear starts thinking about anything and everything sweet that might be in the house and the nibbling starts. I have read everywhere that when cravings start the best thing to do is do something else. Except in my case? Trying to focus on something else (the laundry, cleaning the bathroom, oh, right, the BABY) only intensfies the cravings.
Willpower, willpower, where art thou?
2 comments:
I SOOOOO get what you're saying. I suffer from the same symptoms as you. You are NOT alone. I'll do really well in the eating department, when all of a sudden, I become this crazy person that feels the need to hide a bowl of chips and chocolate bar, devours it, and then feels remorse for having been so stupid.
Low carb sounds like it may be a good option for you. It's hard to start, but sugar is an addictive food, and we are not evolved to have access to it in the large quantities we do today. Originally, we only got it from fruit, in season. The ONLY way I can control my sugar cravings is by cutting it out to less then 30 grams per day. I have more energy, lose weight easily, and my cholesterol improves (eating cheese, steak and full fat dairy)and NO food cravings. I have the numbers to prove it.
Read Gary Taubes Good Calories, Bad Calories. Cutting out carbs is the only way that I can eat and maintain a healthy weight and keep my eating under control. It is not about being weak, or having no will power. Sugar is an addictive substance that we are designed to want so that we will survive times of famine by storing fat. Some of us are better at it then others. I'm not saying it's for everyone, but you sound just like me. My doctor fully supports it.
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